My heart is connected to the pulse of humanity. Usually I see this as a good thing, but lately I find myself frantically paddling the rapids, trying not to spill irretrievably into churning whitewater. As I read articles and posts about how the world is coping with this pandemic, I survey the menu of emoticons to choose how I feel about it. More often than not, there simply isn’t one.
There is no emoticon deep enough to express my despair for a world paralyzed and controlled by fear, and the sorrow of those grieving their loved ones.
There is no emoticon strong enough to express my anger at governments, who while they say they care, demonstrate irresponsibility, carelessness, and sometimes even cruelty.
There is no emoticon vast enough to express the absent hugs, joy, and camaraderie between friends and families in public places, especially as spring blooms.
There is no emoticon void enough to express the emptiness my heart feels on solitary walks to buy food, traversing desolate streets haunted by shadows of life.
Do I feel this way all of the time? No, I do not, but there are these moments, you might be feeling them too, when it washes over me like a tidal wave. This is new and it is big.
Without a doubt, I will pass through this processing of loss. I am also at heart an optimist and idealist. I feel beneath these swirling waters the opportunity for a spectacular change in humanity.
So I cling to my life jacket and I keep going, always heading for the light, in this place of no emoticons.
Photos courtesy João Cabral, Pexels
No Emoticons | For This © Susan L Hart 2020